isolation

Even with all the friends I have on Facebook, I still feel isolated and alone most of the time. I want to go out and do something with friends, real friends, the people who can laugh with me and dance and just be funny. I've let myself become so isolated that I only seem to have one or two friends with whom this type of event could be possible. My husband would go out with me but I can't be me with him. I always have to watch what I say or who I talk to - he "pees on my leg" and drives me bananas. I just want to get out and get away and have fun with my girlfriends and with my husband, that just isn't possible and it sucks ass.

Day 2

Isn't it weird how one day you can weigh 152 and the next you're 150? How is it possible to lose 2 lbs in one day, especially since all I did yesterday was hang out on the couch and try to recoup after the trip to Vegas? I'm not complaining - 2 lbs is 2 lbs!

I still need to do my measurements, and the more I see the Vegas pics the less I want to take my measurements. As soon as I find the tape I will do it.

I had a whole wheat bagel with 2 tbs of cream cheese for breakfast; 2 glasses of skim milk and a small chocolate chip cookie so far. And some random pickles.

I think pickles shouldn't have to be counted as they have minimal calories and pack a lot of flavor. Their sodium content is quite high, but really, how bad can they be? Especially the minis?

This day I will

I've decided that today will be my launch of Watch Me Downsize, a blog to document my weightloss. Due to my lack of viligence, I've gone from a shapely and strong 137 lbs in August of '08, to a curvaliscious but slightly lumpy 152 lbs today. My clothes are tight, my abs have disappeared and my butt is walking back down my legs. I will do my measurements this evening and then post them on this blog as well.

My goal is to land somewhere between 130-140 lbs while getting back into the strong shape I enjoyed last summer and regain the self-esteem that I have lost while packing on the pounds this winter. I've chosen to forgo the usual Weight Watchers or Slim-for-Life programs and instead document my progress here in the hope that this will keep me accountable for my behavior and goals. I hope to achieve my goal by June 19th (my 36th Birthday), which means I have 12-20 lbs to lose in the next 11-12 weeks. I hope to lose at least 3 lbs a week by changing my diet and exercising. I've been exercising about 1-2 times a week; that will be going to 3-5 times/week as I progress with my program. I'm not good at counting calories, so I plan to cut out most of my "bad" snacking, choosing instead to not to snack or to choose better, healthier snacks instead. Starting next Monday, I will also attempt the Celebrity 10 Day Lemon/Maple Syrup toxic cleanse program for at least five days. I've heard it does great things for kicking off weight-loss and leveling hormone levels, so I'd like to try it.

As a reward for my weight loss, I will treat myself to a birthday shopping trip at MOA for great new clothes.

I will post daily updates on my calories in and out (via food/exercise journaling) here along with musings about diet and exercise.

Weightloss updates will be posted every Wednesday.

Hopefully I will be able to show a true downsizing of my body and not only inspire myself to go on, but anyone else who has stumbled upon this blog, too.